Are you tired of your competition beating you out in the real estate game?
JP Moses here, sharing some really useful info I learned my dear friend Shaun McCloskey back in the day… when he was actively buying, selling and teaching about short sales and how to build instant credibility with sellers.
What you’re about to learn is not just applicable to convos with motivate sellers and in our REI arena — it’s helpful in building rapport and credibility with anyone you speak with. Solid skills to use anytime.
But for our blog purposes, I’m going to talk about it in context with real estate investing and, specifically, how to help sellers overcome their fear and anxiety so you can better connect with them.
Let’s get to it…
I don’t have to tell you that now more than ever, your competition is trying feverishly to cut you out, any way they can…
The simple fact of the matter is, there are a lot of other people out there doing what you do. And while I’m as abundance-minded as the next guy, it still stinks like poopy diapers to watch that crazy awesome deal you (almost) landed, slide sadly out of reach and into the clutches of the next schlub.
Am I right or am I right?
So, this is the 1st in a 3-part series of articles that’ll help you with this very problem. Prepare to learn in no uncertain terms how to blow your competition out of the water.
SPLOOSH! 🙂
Like I said, each of these emails is valuable info I gleaned from my boy Shaun.
See, 2 of the top questions he would get all the time were:
- How is it that your deals seem to go so smoothly, with so few surprises from the homeowner?
- How come none of your deals get stolen out from underneath you by other investors?
Said another way: How the heck are you keeping your competition at bay?
So now I’m sharing Shaun’s nothing-held-back answers to those very questions — time-tested, proven tricks he used for years to set himself apart as the Big Fish in whatever pond he was in. Most people aren’t aware or simply ignore them. Except you, from now on…
Make no mistake… though Shaun’s specialty was short sales, the sneaky little tricks you’re about to learn can and should be applied to absolutely any real estate investing business, regardless of your niche or focus. Whether it’s short sales, REOs, commercial, landlord, land, tax liens, etc. … basically if you deal with people, then this is for you.
We’re going to talk about ways to help you eliminate your competition — your customers, banks, anybody that you’re dealing with will not want to work with anybody but you.
How?
By building instant rapport.
And when I say instant, I mean, if you’re not building rapport within the first 5 seconds, you’re losing out on some of your rapport-building skills… and that could affect your deal later on down the road.
This applies to all people: whether you’ve met him/her before or if it’s your first time meeting; face to face or over the phone; homeowner or bank or real estate agent…
This is universal for every aspect of not only real estate, but all people you meet in general.
So how do you build instant rapport?
OK, that first 5 seconds is the most crucial time when you’re being introduced or meeting someone for the first time. They’re pretty much summing you up within the first 5 seconds about:
- whether or not they believe you
- whether or not you’re somebody they want to work with
- whether or not you’re full of it
- whether or not they want to have a further conversation with you or whether the conversation ends right here
That all happens within the first 5 seconds. Truth.
So how do you build rapport in those first 5 seconds to where people believe you, where people want to work with you, where people want to continue having that conversation and find out more about what it is that you have to offer them?
Well, it’s pretty simple. And to demonstrate this, I just want you to think a little bit about a time in your life where you met someone and you hit it off with them really well, you immediately felt comfortable with them.
Think of that situation for a second:
- What type of qualities did that person have?
- What was it about them that made you feel comfortable with them right off the bat?
- What was it about them that set them apart from somebody else?
Now, think of the opposite…
I know you’ve met people at times where you immediately feel turned off by them and didn’t feel connected with them. Maybe you immediately felt like they’re out to get you or you just don’t trust them even though you’re not sure why.
What were the difference in the qualities of those two types of people?
Well, this is something that Shaun and his team studied over the years, because there were times when they met someone and felt instantly connected with them. And that’s a pretty cool feeling.
Not only does it feel like you just made a new friend instantly, but it feels like you can talk to that person about things that you don’t normally talk about.
So what is it that makes those two people different?
Well, as Shaun continued to study this, he noticed one major thing: The people he felt connected with were most like himself.
Sounds pretty simple, right?
But the truth of the matter is people like people who are most like themselves. Think about this…
Why is there racial profiling or hate crimes? People certainly don’t go out and do a hate crime against somebody who’s just like themselves. No, they go out there and do a hate crime against somebody who’s completely different — or at least seemingly very different than they are.
That’s why there’s racial profiling too. People don’t like people who seem to be different. Now, whether or not that’s true doesn’t matter. What matters is what the person feels.
See, if that person feels like you’re similar to them, you’ll build rapport much quicker.
So, how do you get somebody to feel like you’re similar to them?
And I don’t mean where you manipulate who you are and change who you are as a human being. No, no. What I mean is a simple approach called mirroring and modeling. It’s something I now do when I meet somebody for the first time.
Mirroring and modeling is nothing more than simply being more like the person that you’ve just been introduced to without compromising who you are as a person.
I don’t mean going in and changing who you are and being cheesy… I mean just being able to relate to the other person by being more like them.
How do you mirror and model?
When I talk about mirroring and modeling, I mean very specifically mirroring as though there’s a mirror right up in front of you and you’re going to be physically, intellectually and auditorily like the other person.
Think about this: If you’re dealing with somebody who talks very fast and they want answers quickly and they talk loudly… but you’re talking slowly, quietly, all cool, calm and collected — that person may not be able to relate to you because they want to get stuff done right now.
We want to mirror and model people not only the intonation and the speed of their speech, but also in how loud and how fast they’re speaking.
Conversely, if you’re dealing with somebody who is chill and you rush in and started explaining everything to them super-fast — you’re going to lose them right off the bat.
And that may be an extreme example, but it conveys my point clearly.
With a quiet, slow talker, when you slow down your speech and talk more like they’re talking, you’re going to build more rapport with them much quicker than if you’d be loud.
Again, if someone is loud and all red in the face, and you’re shy and reserved — you’re going to get walked all over.
So, you have to adapt part of yourself at the moment so you can relate to the other person. It’s as simple as that.
This is effective in person and on the phone.
That’s how to build rapport through auditory mirroring and modeling.
We’ve also got the physical aspect.
Think about how people “talk” with their body language and gestures…
When you’re dealing with somebody who’s on the edge of their seat, leaning in and their hands are all over the place… but you’re sitting back in your chair, hands on your lap — you won’t connect.
So, we can definitely also use our gestures and our physiological body to build rapport with people. Be a mime — just not the annoying ones who do that ‘I’m stuck in a box; I’m pulling in this long, heavy rope’ stuff.
It will allow you to connect with them in a more relatable way.
OK…
That’s gonna wrap up part 1.
Part 2 of this series where we talk about asking the right questions, and you can check it out right here.
For now, go ahead and start practicing some mirroring and modeling, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the positive results.