Steph was at a real estate investor meeting in Tampa, feeling pretty “nervoucited” about landing her first property under contract.
There she was… she’d printed up flyers… she was going to pass them out… network… maybe find a buyer.
First deal energy — you know the feeling.
Then this guy Frank stood up.
And proceeded to embarrass her in front of everyone.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said loud enough for the whole room to hear. “If it was a good deal on the MLS, it would already be gone.”
I mean, picture that for a second…
You’re brand new. You’re nervous. You’re trying to break into this business.
And some loudmouth jerk tears you down publicly for even trying.
Steph told me years later she still remembers that moment. The shame. The doubt. That voice in her head saying “maybe he’s right, maybe I’m in over my head.”
But here’s the thing…
Frank was dead wrong.
And Steph went on to build a successful wholesaling business doing exactly what Frank said was impossible 💪 finding deals on the freaking MLS.
Hey there, JP here to explain…
The Franks Are Everywhere
Every market has them.
The negative guy at the REIA meeting who’s been “investing” for 10 years but never actually closed a deal. The forum troll who tells you why your strategy won’t work. The family member who says real estate is too risky. The friend who thinks you’re crazy for even trying.
They’re loud. They’re confident. They’re annoying.
And they’re often completely full of it.
The problem?
When you’re starting out, you don’t know who to listen to yet.
Steph – now with a loooooong track record as a successful dealmaker btw – she said something to me once that stuck:
“It’s so important to separate yourself from those people, especially when you’re getting started. When you’re doubting yourself already, it’s really difficult.”
She’s right.
When you’re new, every piece of negative feedback hits harder. You don’t have the track record yet to know that you CAN do this. You’re vulnerable to anyone who sounds like they know what they’re talking about.
Find Someone Who’s Actually Doing It
So how did Steph push past Frank and all the other doubters?
She found people who were actually closing deals.
Not theorizing. Not remembering what worked in 2003.
Actually doing it, right now, successfully.
For Steph, that was Steve Cook — who eventually became her mentor. He was also one of my original mentors by the way – it’s how Steph and I met in the first place. ッ
Steve had built his entire business wholesaling REOs. Not “I tried this once,” but thousands of deals using the exact approach Steph was trying to learn.
She also followed other active wholesalers she met through social media groups, online REI forums, and local investor meetings. (I mentioned Bob Norton in last week’s piece — he was another one crushing it at the time in Detroit.)
But here’s what mattered…
These weren’t people talking about what MIGHT work.
They were teaching what DID work for them, over and over, with receipts.
When Steph got stuck on something — and she got stuck pretty regularly, as all newbies do — she knew exactly who to ask. The people actively doing deals.
Not the Franks who’d “been investing for 10 years” without a single closing to their name.
That’s the difference.
How To Spot a Real Mentor vs. a Frank
Here’s the filter I wish someone had given me when I started:
Real mentors:
- Have recent deals they can show you
- Are still actively doing what they teach
- Give specific strategies, not just motivation
- Admit what they don’t know
- Want you to succeed (not just buy their course)
The Franks:
- Talk a big game with no proof
- Haven’t done a deal in years (or ever)
- Say “that won’t work” without testing it themselves
- Make everything sound impossible
- Get weirdly defensive when you question them
Steph put it bluntly:
“Find the people who are successful at what you’re trying to do and take advice from them. Screw everybody else basically.”
Yeah. That. ☝
The Forum Factor
When Steph was struggling through her first deals, she didn’t have a paid mentor yet. She was broke, remember? Bartender trying to make it in real estate.
But she found her people online.
Online forums and active social media groups became her lifeline.
When she got her first property under contract, she jumped on the forums: “Holy crap, what do I do now!?”
And real investors who’d been there before walked her through it. Step by step. Just helping someone else figure it out.
As I said, that’s where I first met Steph actually — on the Flipping Homes forum back in the day. She was “TampaSteph” back then, chronicling every deal, every mistake, every win on her blog.
Those forums and social media groups are full of both types — Franks who’ve never done a deal but love to criticize, and real investors actively working in the trenches. And you learn pretty quick who’s who by looking at their post history and whether they back up their advice with actual experience.
The Doubt Amplifier
Here’s why this mentor stuff matters so much when you’re starting…
Your own brain is already working against you.
You’re going to doubt yourself. You’re going to wonder if you’re making the right moves. You’re going to hit obstacles and think “maybe this isn’t for me.”
That’s NORMAL.
But if you’re surrounded by Franks telling you it can’t be done, your own doubt gets amplified. It becomes this echo chamber of negativity that’s nearly impossible to push through.
Now flip it…
If you’re surrounded by people who are actively doing deals and telling you “yeah, it’s hard, but here’s how I got through that exact problem,” your doubt gets countered with real solutions.
Steph said she’d block out the negative people completely. If someone said wholesaling REOs was impossible, she literally stopped listening.
She knew Steve was doing it. She knew Bob was doing it. And Ken and Brian and JP and so many other real people on the forums were doing it.
So clearly it WAS possible.
The Franks were wrong. End of story.
Your Assignment
If you’re serious about real estate investing, you need to build your own personal board of advisors. People who’ve actually done what you’re trying to do.
Not people who talk about it. People who DO it.
Start here:
Find at least 3 people who are actively wholesaling (or flipping, or whatever your strategy is) in your market or one similar.
Follow them…
Follow their content. Join the forums, groups or meet-ups they’re in. Go to the meetings they attend.
Study what they do, not just what they say. Track records matter more than personality.
Block the Franks…
I mean it. If someone’s never done a deal but loves to tell you why yours won’t work, stop giving them airtime in your head. They’re noise.
And get uncomfortable…
Steph was “scared to death” to go to that first investor meeting. She almost turned around and went home.
But she forced herself to walk in and pass out those flyers. And it’s where she met the person who connected her to her first real mentor.
The opportunities are on the other side of the comfort zone.
The Bottom Line
Frank was wrong about Steph.
He was wrong about wholesaling REOs.
He was probably wrong about most things related to actually doing deals.
But he was loud. And confident.
And if Steph had listened to him instead of Steve Cook and the other active investors she found, she never would’ve built her business.
Your Franks are out there right now, ready to tell you why your deal won’t work, why the market’s too competitive, why you’re in over your head.
Your job isn’t to prove them wrong.
Your job is to find your mentors who’ve actually done it and can show you the way.
Then tune out everything else.
OK your move: Who’s your Mr. Miyagi?
And more importantly, who are the Franks you need to stop listening to?
Take care,
JP