Hey investor friend, Cam Dunlap here…
So, one of my Inner Circle members and I recently had a mentorship session where we discussed a topic that many people find personal: how our social circle affects our achievement.
While the discussion started around a specific situation this investor faced, it quickly became clear this was something nearly everyone, from real estate investors to entrepreneurs, struggle with at some point.
Let me share some hard-won wisdom about why your inner circle matters more than you might think.
The 5-Person Rule 🎯
Have you ever heard the well-known statement by Jim Rohn that you should be the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with?
It’s not just some inspirational posterwisdom… in my 30+ years in the world of real estate, I’ve seen it come to pass COUNTLESS times.
Think about it: Who are your 5?
Take a moment. Write down their names.
Now here’s the uncomfortable part — are they elevating you or holding you back?
When Friends Become Anchors
See, managing relationships is like maintaining an investment portfolio — sometimes you need to cut losses and reallocate resources. (And yes, I know how cold that sounds, but stick with me here.)
I’ve had to fire friends. Literally fire them. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but also one of the most necessary for my growth.
These weren’t bad people — they were comfortable people. Comfortable with where they were, and subconsciously working to keep everyone around them at that same level.
The Dream-Stealer Detection Kit
Here’s how to spot the dream-stealers in your life:
- They respond to your goals with “realistic” concerns.
- They remind you of past failures when you share new ambitions.
- They subtly undermine your confidence with “helpful” warnings.
- They’re comfortable with where they are and want you to stay there too.
It’s like having a personal trainer who secretly feeds you donuts — they might be nice to have around, but they’re not helping you reach your goals.
The Unconscious Sabotage
And here’s something fascinating I’ve noticed: Most dream-stealers don’t even realize they’re doing it. Their response to your success goals is often unconscious or covert. They might say they support you while simultaneously working to keep you exactly where you are.
Why?
Because your growth threatens their comfort zone. When you start talking about buying investment properties or scaling your business, it forces them to question their own choices and ambitions.
The Hard Choice
I remember one friend from my early days — let’s call him Mike. Great guy, known him since college. But every time I talked about my real estate goals, he’d remind me about that one bad deal from ’95.
Every. Single. Time.
The conversation would go something like:
Me: “Hey, I’m looking at this new development opportunity…”
Him: “Remember that duplex deal that went sideways? Man, that was rough.”
Eventually, I realized Mike wasn’t trying to protect me — he was protecting himself from having to question his own choices.
Making the Cut (w/o Being a Jerk)
Look, firing friends doesn’t mean burning bridges or having dramatic confrontations. Sometimes it’s as simple as gradually spending less time with certain people while intentionally seeking out others who challenge and inspire you.
Think of it like upgrading your phone — you don’t throw the old one at the wall… you just transition to something that better serves your current needs.
Building Your Success Circle
Now then, want to know the secret to making this transition easier?
Focus on addition before subtraction. Start by actively seeking out people who:
- Have already achieved what you’re aiming for.
- Share your growth mindset.
- Challenge you to think bigger.
- Celebrate your wins (without jealousy).
The 2025 Challenge
As we navigate through 2025, here’s what I want you to do: Audit your circle. Be honest about who’s helping you grow and who’s holding you back. It’s not about being cold or calculating — it’s about being intentional with your time and energy.
Remember, you’re not just the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with — you’re also becoming who they are. Choose wisely.
P.S. If you’re wondering whether someone in your circle is a dream-stealer, ask yourself this: After spending time with them, do you feel more or less excited about your goals?
That’s usually all the answer you need.