Patrick Riddle here with a question:
Have you ever felt sucker punched by life?
I mean, things seem to be going just fine, all hunky-dory, when suddenly out of nowhere — WHAM! Something happens that just waylays you.
Man, I sure have. Many times actually.
But we all have, right?
Life has its ups and downs… and its way ups, and it’s waaaaay downs. We all get served our fair share of “good,” “bad,” and “ugly.”
But here’s a twist — and I’m just being completely honest here): I actually feel deeply GRATEFUL for ALL these “bad” and “ugly” experiences in my life.
Little weird, huh?
Well, give me a chance here…
Let me explain
Reality for most people is that they only ever feel grateful for the “good” things that happen in life. And that’s cool, expressing gratitude for the happy things is always good. But that’s easy, right? They’re WINS.
Well, here’s the thing: It’s actually the “bad” stuff, those sucker punches out of nowhere, that actually sharpen us and make us better versions of ourselves…
Truth be told, it’s the “ugly” stuff that often ends up being responsible for much of the “good” and truly beautiful parts of our life. Think of the pain of childbirth, for example.
Ok, I’ll make this personal…
At one time, my entire business came wholly crashing down on me… and I mean, just about every bad thing that can happen to a guy in real estate, happened to me… from foreclosure to lawsuits, judgments, you name it.
One minute I was on top of the world, and the next it all fell apart.
And yes, I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and more than a little defeated at the time. It was straight up the most difficult, darkest time in my life up to that point…
But you know what?
I am ABSOLUTELY a better man for it today…
- I think differently now than I did back before it all crashed down on top of me.
- I make decisions differently now — both personally and professionally.
- I value things in my life differently.
I’m truly a better version of myself in many ways. And because of this, I’m able to be truly grateful for the pain I experienced going through all that.
Consider this: gold must be refined by fire. The hotter the fire, the brighter the gold.
Now let me clarify…
I’m NOT saying it’s always easy to express true gratitude for the “bad” or the “ugly.” it’s not. Especially not at the time. BUT! I’m here to tell you that good is there. And it’s soooo worth it to go through the process of finding it, and then connecting those dots.
So here’s my personal challenge to you…
It’s just 3 simple steps…
Step 1: Look at the Bad
Stop right now and think about a specific “bad/ugly/painful” experience from your life. It could be something from your past or even something you’re going through right now.
It may hurt a little, but trust me, keep going…
Then…
Step 2: Extract the Good
Take some time to intentionally ponder the positive things that have come from the “bad.” It may take some work, but it’s there.
- Did you learn an invaluable lesson or two?
- Did a door close on you, but then also open another, better one down the road?
- Are you now able to empathize with others going through a similar challenge today?
- Did you have a major shift in your perspectives, values, or wisdom afterward?
Just ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” or “What good came from this?” and then write down what comes to mind.
Extract the good out of the bad.
Then finally…
Step 3: Own It
For the next 7 days, I want you to practice being intentionally grateful for those things. Not just the good outcome, but the “bad” that triggered it. Find some way to express your sincere gratitude and appreciation for this “bad/ugly” thing being a part of your life story.
One great way to do this can be to simply share it with someone else. Just find someone and tell them your “bad/ugly” story… then share the good that you can see has come from it. Connect those dots and uncover your own redemption story.
And here’s an interesting thing that you’ll notice…
The more you do this, the easier it becomes. Then, before you know it, it’s become a part of your own personal culture. You just naturally look for the good in every “bad/ugly” that you face. It’s a pretty neat thing.
So… are you up for the challenge?
I hope so. You’ll be glad you did.
P.S. Believe it or not, this kind of “mindset sharpening” is one of the most critically important things you can do to shorten your own path to success in this business. Waaaay more than any real estate tactic or strategy I can teach you.
In fact, most people who flat out fail in REI, do so because of their own inner demons, not for lack of tactics or strategies that really work.
It’s just the cold, harsh truth.
So, here are those action steps again:
- Take a good look at the bad or negative or ugly things in your life — it’ll sting to examine them, but do it.
- Find the takeaway from those negative experiences — what did you learn, how did you grow, what did you achieve through that tough time?
- Express gratitude for those negative experiences because they help shape who you are and provide you life lessons to grow and develop.
Here’s to each of us being productive.